My Friends Don’t Have Thumbs

9 Jul

Those aren’t my friends. None of those people are my friends. First of all, they’re way too cheeky and friendly looking. Second of all, they look successful. I don’t want to be friends with someone who looks more successful than I do. Lastly, none of those people look cute and cuddly and semi-okay with licking my face from time to time (I mean that in a literal sense…that isn’t any sort of sexual innuendo).

Once again I’m  gracing your eyes with the presence of a post that has a vague title and a message with an even different meaning. If you read the title, I few things could be going through your mind.

  • This girl is a cannibal, she’s eating all of her friends thumbs.
  • All of her friends are babies who have sucked their thumbs off.
  • She isn’t friends with anything of the human kind.
  • Bella? Friends? HA. That’s a good one.

If “she isn’t friends with anything of the human kind” ran through your scattered mind, then you are correct! I’m talking CATS ladies and gents! You see, I have learned to embrace the true livelihood that cats provide. Being the awkward “angsty teen” that I am, I will provide you with some insight into my life through photographs.

This is Mr. Pricklepants and I before school.

This is Mr. Pricklepants and I before school.

This is Mr. Pricklepants and I brushing our teeth together. More like me brushing and he pokerfacing it.

This is Mr. Pricklepants and I brushing our teeth together. More like me brushing and he pokerfacing it.

This is a group shot with Shell (Pensive cat in back) and Monti (Screamo cat in front). We are just beautiful.

This is a group shot with Shell (Pensive cat in back) and Monti (Screamo cat in front). We are just beautiful.

This is Mr. Pricklepants and I on Christmas. He loves Christmas.

This is Mr. Pricklepants and I on Christmas. He loves Christmas.

What people really forget to understand is that I’m actually a really nice person who enjoys basic human interaction. For some reason I think my nervous twitching and urge to rip out all of the wallet pictures of my cats scares people away. I can’t imagine why though because quite frankly, I think all of the wallets are quite cute. You see, I’m a cat lady and I’m okay with it. Embrace it. Work it. Love it. Live it. Wait, is it normal to be a 16 year old cat lady? Is that normal? What do “normal teenagers” do?  Never mind, don’t answer that. This is basically how I see myself in about 10 years, give or take:

  • I see myself as a really eccentric person, the life of the party.

 

 

  • I see myself as a fashion mogul. Versace Versace Versace Versace.

  • Not only will I be classy, I’ll also be a business woman. I see myself maybe owning a small business?

  • I would hope that I would have settled down, but if not, I have a back up plan!

If that isn’t an exciting life, I don’t know what is, honestly. Being an out-of-the-closet Cat Lady is harder than I first imagined it. It really was AWESOME to go on the ol’ Twitter one day and see a string of comments from a bunch of girls at school. One of them said, “You’re turning into a Crazy cat lady..haha who does that remind you of?” and another one replied with “Oh god…” and inserted those Emoji’s with the gun pointing to the head. The conversation in general got over 20 retweets and countless favorites, all poking fun at my Cat Lady-ness. It hurt at first but then I’m like uh, when all of your friends leave you, what are you going to be left with? A bunch of bleach blond hair and the cellulite that covers your ass. What am I going to be left with someday? A whole boatload of cats. Who wins? I win. Bella wins.  So to all you cat haters out there, go for it. For all you cat-lover haters out there, kiss all my cats’ furry ass.

If you are a struggling cat lover, please feel free to reach out to me. I’ve been there, I know what it’s like to feel the hate of cat-haters everywhere. If you’re looking for some inspiration, i’ll leave you with a good quote I made up myself.

“Sometimes those without thumbs act more intelligent than those with thumbs”

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2 Responses to “My Friends Don’t Have Thumbs”

  1. Mollie Hunt July 9, 2013 at 12:02 pm #

    You go, girl-cat!

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