I’m Coming Out And I Hope You Can All Support Me

8 Aug

Hello everyone. I recently have found out I haven’t been acting like “normal” teenagers lately and I finally know why.

I haven’t experienced my “teen angst stage” thing and I’ve decided I’m going to try it. So please support me as I go through this as it is not an easy feat. Thank you all for your support. (Not what you were expecting, eh?)

Well, looks like it’s been awhile since I’ve dabbled in the blog world. I really haven’t been up to much. Just the usual eat, sleep, play with cats, act awkward and try to live up to this whole “teen angst stage” thing. It’s actually been going quite well! I’ve been trying to insert the Effenheimer into every sentence I can, coloring my hair all different shades of the rainbow and I even pierced my bellybutton with a safety pin. Whoever said you can get infections from at-home piercings is clearly lying…This green stuff coming out of my bellybutton doesn’t even smell funny.

*Disclaimer: Part of this whole “teen angst stage” thing is partaking in lying and sarcasm. Am I doing a good job yet?*

I actually have been thinking about the life teenagers and the thoughts I have conjured up are pretty intriguing I think. Shit. Do teenagers in the “teen angst stage” thing use complex verbs and adjectives? No. No they don’t because school is dumb and words are dumb, too. Shit. Do teenagers in the “teen angst stage” use proper grammar? duh no they don’t why am I acting so smart being smart is for stupid persons. duh.

In the general fashion of this blog, I’ve thought up a list of things I could do to further my journey into this whole “teen angst stage” and what I really think of these “teen angst stage” things. so enjoy this list yeah.

“Cute” Dinosaurs

No, i'm pretty sure this dyslexic "Rawr" means get the fuck out of the way because i'm about to eat your face off.

No, i’m pretty sure this dyslexic “Rawr” means get the fuck out of the way because i’m about to eat your face off.

ISN’T THIS JUST ADORABLE? I can’t think of a better way to express my undying teenage love than to draw cute little dinosaurs and making a cute message out of their dyslexic battle cry. I mean let’s be real, from what I’ve observed out of this whole “teen angst stage”, nothing has to be realistic. But this is TOTES REALISTIC. Back when dinosaurs were alive in like, the 1800’s, they said I love you to each other all the time. I just don’t really understand where all these teenagers learn to speak dinosaur? I mean, I speak whale so I guess that’s the same? So I’ve decided that to truly fit into my “teen angst stage” thing, i’m going to be drawing all of my friends cute little dinosaurs to tell them I love them.

Is green the new blue? Is it an ambiguous dinosaur couple? Like, no. Just no.

Yeah, this is cute. So are bagels.

Facial Piercings

WHO DOESN’T LIKE SHOVING NEEDLES IN THEIR FACE??????? I’ve recently been observing teens in their natural “teen angst stage” thing habitat (the mall) and this “facial piercing” craze is VERY POPULAR! Did you know you can fit a hole the size of a football in your ear lobe? OR did you know that you can pierce your nose like a bull and still manage to have rings in your nostrils? I’m in awe of these people. WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART OF IT ALL IS? They did all these splendid piercings themselves!!!!!!!! (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) So fantastic. Just so fantastic. I can’t even fathom how wonderful this is. So in class nature of this whole “teen angst stage” I’ve decided I’m going to take up this next body altering project…

I think her makeup looks quite fetch.

I think her makeup looks quite fetch.

Long, Shaggy “Sk8r Boi” Hair

This could be quite challenging because I have a REALLY tricky part in my hair and the “comb-over” thing might not work out for my hair so well. But I’m going to try it! While I was observing other teens with the facial piercings I also noticed that they have such a different…style of hair. It’s one part greasy, one part lice, one part hat hair and four parts rebellion. So later today I’m going to go to the store and pick up some crisco and go to the daycare down the street and see what I can find for grease and lice! I’m so excited I can’t even contain myself. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I’m hoping to look like this after the transformation…

I'm not sure how easy this is to fishtail...

I’m not sure how easy this is to fishtail…

Boobies Bracelets

THANK ALL THINGS HOLY, I ALREADY OWN ONE OF THESE!!!!!!!! I’m so excited to wear my bracelet with pride after my transformation. At school whenever all of the angsty kids used to wear these, teachers and other authority figures would always confiscate them. Which I never understood because technically, it’s supporting a good cause. Boobies, breasts, knockers, nunga-nungas; they’re all the same body part.

Her face says it's so wrong but inside she knows it's so right.

Her face says it’s so wrong but inside she knows it’s so right.

Club Penguin

Unfortunately I have already experimented with Club Penguin but due to my attempt at this whole “teen angst stage” I got suspended for swearing. Who the hell would have thought that would happen? I sure as hell thought it was one giant crock of shit…Freedom of speech my ass. But I think I’m going to register for a new account on a different email. Teenagers think club penguin is ALL THE RAGE. I’m so excited.

This shit is so fun.

This shit is so fun.

If you’ve made it to the end of this, thank you. I really hope this new journey takes me far and hopefully I can gain new friends from it!

If you’re questioning whether or not you should try to dabble in your “teen angst stage” thing, here is a homemade quote to help you decide:

“Angst is just a acceptable label for being perpetually angry. Use it to your advantage.”

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