Archive | November, 2013

Epiphanies Worth Sharing (Or So My Cat Told Me)

24 Nov

Now that I’ve tried to write this first sentence about 400 times now, I’m going to stop erasing it and leave it on the 401st try. Now that I’m skipping to the 2nd second, I’d like to take the time to explain my version of the word “epiphany”.

Bella’s version of the word epiphany: Epiphany. Epiphany is that moment when you realize that after 17 years of your life, you finally realize what “if a tree falls in the forest” is really getting at. Epiphany is one of those moments when you realize that you can turn one-ply toilet paper into two-ply toilet paper by folding it over, that brief moment in your day when you realize that it’s five o’clock somewhere even though is only two in the afternoon and incredibly miserable. An epiphany is when you look up at the sky and it’s blue, even though it isn’t really blue, it’s just a bunch of gas and reflections of the oceans and shit. Yeah, science just gave me a royal epiphany. Epiphany, that moment when you realize that it really is a “come to Jesus moment” because you see little visions of Jesus running to you. Please, don’t get the word “euphoric” and epiphany mixed up. But, if you’re in a state of euphoria, you may or may not be experiencing about 700 epiphanies per purple goat that runs by.

That being said, I’ve had about 3 epiphanies this week and it’s absolutely terrible. Except, in all of these epiphanies, Jesus never ran to me. A homeless man with a striking resemblance to Jesus might have, and this homeless man might have been wearing sandals, but Jesus still never ran to me. Getting back on subject, I’ve had a few thoughts this week that have both helped me and pissed me off plenty, and I thought they might be worth sharing. So if you like quick reading, this post is most definitely for you.

Confronting Problems

Often times, when we’re faced with problems, we can do one of two things; confront it or condemn it. When I say condemn it, I mean that we can shut the problem out of our lives and look at said problem as a bad thing. What happens if we flip around the condemning and look at the problem as motivation? Now, depending on if you’re intrinsically motivated or extrinsically motivated,  becoming motivated to solve your problems can become a problem in itself. Instead of looking at the problem as something that can harm you, look at it as something that can help you. Solving your own conflicts and problems can boost self-esteem, increase your problems solving skills and you become stronger as a person. When I’m faced with a problem, I go through a set of stages (almost like mini stages of grief…it’s quite tiring actually) to eventually confront my problem. I start off getting angry at the problem, brainstorming ways to confront my problem, think realistically about my problem and finally work up the courage to confront the problem. Look at confronting a problem like this: Inner conflicts causes stress within us. By confronting a problem, we can learn how to manage stress and learn ways to not get in that conflict again and if we do, how we can work through it again using the tools we learned in the previous situation. Solving problems was a huge epiphany this week. I’ve been dreading solving certain problems this past week and after some really deep thinking, I realized that I need to face my problems head on because after all is said and done, it’s actually going to benefit me. Epiphany number one? Face your problems head on, the reward is worth much more than anticipated.

Ethical Thinking

Ethics, defined in merriam-webster as “following accepted rules of behavior : morally right and good”, ethics are something that each individual needs to define for themselves. Ethics often come with  conflict I feel like. If you’re ever questioning if something is “right” or “wrong”, ask yourself a few questions! Is this conflict or problem harming anyone either emotionally or physically? Is this unlawful or could being associated with this get me in trouble with the law? Usually when you have any question if something is ethical or not, there is usually something that is not right about it. A lot of times when someone tries to do the “ethical thing”, there’s criticism from another person or group of people. It’ll be hard to “do the right thing” sometimes, but in the end it’s worth it. Ask yourself if it conflicts with your own morals, if it’s harming you or anyone around you and if it’s unlawful. If you can’t say “no” to all three of those questions, then you have a problem. Epiphany number two? Always stick with your morals and ethics, no matter what.

Stepping Running Out of Your Comfort Zone is OKAY

Comfort zones are boring. Yes, they are clearly a “comfortable” way to live, but no one gets anywhere in life by being “comfortable”. Life is short. The most exciting thing about life is that there is no promise of tomorrow, so you have to promise to live like there is no tomorrow. I’ve learned throughout this whole teen angst stage thing that there is nothing comfortable about life right now (acne is most definitely not comfortable, I will tell you that much). Decisions are tough, but you’ll never get anywhere by not making decisions. Hell, everything is a decision. Putting on pants this morning? Definitely was a decision that I did not make. Sometimes we run out of our comfort zone before thinking, but that’s not always a bad thing. Ego’s and logic keep us in our comfort zone and sometimes, that sucks. A lot. Leave you ego at the door because it’s not going to help you here. All in all, the big epiphany here was that I had to make a big decision that I wasn’t sure I was ready to make. Epiphany number three? Don’t step outside of the box. Rip the box open, stomp it until it’s flat and light it on fire as you run away.

For all of you who are reading this and wondering why I’m discussing ethics, problems and comfort zones, don’t be alarmed. I’m not trying to write something that is symbol for some sort of life-changing, un-ethical, immoral decision. I’m writing this as a symbol to say hey everyone, I applied to college and quit my job all in the same week. AKA I’ve had about 400 million more epiphanies this week that seem more like panic attacks masked teenage hormones.

So now that I’m broke and unemployed, my brain will be in a temporary state of manic. Meanwhile, my kidneys and I are off to the black market.

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The Ol’ Blog Got It’s First Hate-Comment

2 Nov

There comes a moment when the virtual cherry is popped and the ol’ blog receives its first spam/hate/funny comment. To those of you who actually read the ol’ blog and follow my journey through this teen angst stage thing, I appreciate you more than you know! If you ever feel like leaving a comment, concern or question, feel free! As a writer (or whatever the hell this is) I’m ALWAYS open to criticism, may it be constructive or you just feel like being a giant hemorrhoid and leaving me hate-mail. Different strokes for different folks, but comments are always welcome.

First, might I just say that if you are going to leave me said hate mail, nothing is more gut-wrenching and impactful than improper spelling. I just live for those moments when I get a nasty text message that says:

“Omg gurl yew such a nasty azz ho. Just stahp”.

Sad to say that I have actually received said message and I must say that I was, quite frankly, shaking in my “nasty azz ho” crocs. So please, before you decide to drop a deuce of a comment, please spellcheck. It’s much more meaningful.

Second, might I just add that ellipses are much more effective when placed in the right spot… right… it isn’t effective… if you add them in… wherever… do you get my… point?

Here is the main event of the whole post here: I recently received a gloriously uplifting  comment on my recent post, and due to the fact that I am overjoyed that it is my first ever hate-comment, I thought i’d be a dear and share it with you. Before I share it, I must provide a bit of a backstory. Over the past year or so, I have had a rather creepy man in his 30 something years finding me on every social media platform out there. First, I noticed him on my instagram and he went through and commented on all of my photos that were a little more provocative than others. I kept him unblocked for awhile but after it go uncalled for, I blocked him. Not long after that, I gained a new follower on twitter and soon after that I protected the account. I recently when on to check my blog and i found this comment by the same domain name as all of his other platforms. Needless to say, I blocked him on everything I could an did some “stalking” of my own and found him on facebook.

You can find the comment on my post, “Wrecking Ball or Wrecking Balls?”, if you’d like to see it in real time action. Below is the comment and my response after I found the young man on facebook. All names are left out.

“Girl you need to start enjoying life more and quit your whining… Teen angst? Sounds more like you’re fucking going through menopauze. You’re hurt and mad… We get it.. Smoke a blunt and move on.”

That was the comment and this was the response:

Hello,

I am here to inform you that if you do not refrain from finding me and spamming with lewd and vulgar behavior on every social media platform available, I will be contacting the authorities. I find it highly inappropriate that a grown man is seeking out a 17 year old young lady and provoking absolutely disgusting behavior. I have your twitter, instagram and facebook all written down and if I need to, it will not be that hard to track down an address and a phone number, due to the fact you keep much of your information open. On the note of your comment on my blog, I do appreciate the advice. My intent of blogging is to write my thoughts and feelings and if anyone cares to read them, they can. My intent of blogging is not to gain the popularity and approval of others. Since you seem to be a frequent watcher of my personal life, I am not going through “Menopauze” (It is spelled menopause actually) due to the fact that my uterus and ovaries are still intact and I menstruate on a monthly basis. I do appreciate the advice on “smoking a blunt and moving on”, but I would much rather be a productive member of society and focus on my job, my studies and blogging about my personal life and menstruation cycle.

Again, please do not take this friendly message lightly and I hope you begin to realize that stalking is a very serious matter that I do NOT take lightly. I do not think our legal system takes it lightly, either, being that I am still a minor and you are very clearly not. I have done some “stalking” of my own and I have come to the conclusion that instead of worrying about my personal life, you should focus on your family and child-to-be.

I will be praying for you in the hopes that HE can help guide you down the right path.

Best,

Bella Schaefer

In the spirit of the blog, I will leave you with a homemade quote.

“Menopause has the word men in it for a reason”

Maisy's Mom

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