It’s Better Being Bitter

1 Dec

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately (thinking, I know right?) and a lot of it has been in a harshly realistic fashion. You see, I prefer to look at myself as harshly realistic. Which sounds better: Harshly realistic or pessimistic? Frankly, they both sound terrible but let’s have things go my way and say that harshly realistic sounds absolutely wonderful. But there’s a fine line between harshly realistic and bitter. I’d like to say I’m a little bit of both. If you sit down at the end of the day and think about all of the things you have to be thankful for, I’m sure the list goes on for miles. Now, sit down at the end of the day and think about the things in your life that absolutely suck (I am going to use “suck” as an adjective…some people prefer “inhale vigorously” and I say bite me). When I do this, I like to get on my knees and bow my head while I silently curse at every dipshit who made my day suck, as well as everyone from birth to present day who has tried to rain on my ever-so-marching parade. Of course by this point, I realize that all of you optimistic sally’s out there have already put me on your prayer list and thought of how terrible I am to hold grudges and say bad words about people. Let’s just establish this you sally’s: Life sucks. Wow, there I am on a roll about the word sucks today.

To all of you who have nothing better to with your life then read this blog, if you can count the number of times the word “sucks” is mentioned, I’ll give you some sort of cliché present. Ready set go.

In pre-school, a girl in my class told me she was going to lock me in my car-seat (safety first, kids) in the back of their car and her dad was going to shoot me with her shotgun. In fourth grade, kids in my class called me a retard because I had to use the elevator instead of the stairs. When I was a freshman, I let a male control my every move and change who I was. Last year, I was tormented by majority of the student body via every social media website possible and told to go die because I stood up for myself when I found something to be unethical. Part of me asks myself why I would ever want to bring up any of those moments. But memories are crazy things, huh? We remember the things we love, forget the things that aren’t important and can’t seem to let go of the things that hurt us the most. I sit down at the end of the day and remember all of the things that I love, and then I forget all the things that aren’t important and take a long, hard look at the memories that I can’t let go. Confused? It’s quite simple, really. Take the negative things and turn them into motivation.

Motivation comes in all different sorts for all different sorts of people. I think I touched a little bit on motivation in my last post, but it comes down to how you’re motivated as a person. I’m extremely intrinsically motivated and that’s something that sure helps in my life. Using negative experiences drives me to become a better person. I guess you could say it’s almost a little egotistical in the sense that I want to be the best person that I can be and show others that they didn’t hold me back whatsoever. I would think that everyone feels a little bit of that at some point in there life, right? I would rather remember every single cruel word, hard slap and degrading thing that has been done to me instead of forgetting it all. Some would say that is extremely masochistic, but I would like to point out that I lead a pretty bland love life and that masochism has never, nor will it ever become a part of my life. Unless Christian Grey and the red room of pain is involved, then I’d gladly be anything. You can also argue that I’m extremely bitter and holding on to grudges. False, if I was holding onto grudges, I would have no friends and I would have killed all of humanity in the slowest way known to man (or lack of man, due to the fact that I would have killed them all). There is such a big difference between being bitter and embracing what you’ve been through. I’ve forgiven most of the people I’ve held grudges against, but that does not mean I will never forget what transpired in the past.

“Yes, the past hurts. But the way I see it, you either run from it, or learn from it”

Learning and holding on to the past does not mean that I am bitter. Remembering the people who have done me wrong is not bitter. Life sucks, but I’m not bitter about it. I mean yes, I have my days when I just hate people in their entirety, but I am not bitter about life. I am harshly realistic. Nothing lasts forever, Santa Claus isn’t real and neither are Kim Kardashians boobs. Lemons are bitter, but you never see people bitching about life giving them lemons? You see people pull up their big girl/boy pants and make some lemonade.  Those are the optimistic people, claps for you optimistic people. So to get back into the swing of things, I’m gonna leave you with a quote that I wrote in the bathroom.

This image shows a whole and a cut lemon.

These are my lemons, they were grown in a BS free environment and I grew them myself with no help from any man. Thank Obama.

“When life hands you lemons, smile kindly and say ‘no, thank you’, because you are a sassy, independent woman who don’t need life to give you no lemons. You are a woman who can get her own damn lemons”

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