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Consolation Blog Post

21 Jan

Hello.

My name is Bella, I’ve been addicted to living for 17 years.

Instead of writing a real post, I’m going to use fancy formatting and clever literary tools to

fool

all

of

you

into thinking I’m actually writing something of substance.

I’m fluent in jumble, testing my mumble and dabbling in being humble,

Which is really weird because I’m trying to rhyme and I’m not sure if I just made words right there? The feels.

I can’t tell if I’m constipated or if I’ve got emotional back up. I’ll keep you all posted if it turns into the runs.

Running;

I don’t do that. Ever.

Sometimes I think I should run for fun but then I remember that run rhymes with gun and since I’m trying this rhyming thing,

I shall stay away from the word “run”.

The only time I shall “run” is when I do this “run” from life.

I’m envisioning a sunset and sand,

awkward tourists and binoculars,

Nudist beach, question mark?

If I had a choice of vacation it would be to a nudist beach.

Is that wrong? No. No it’s not.

No no no never run from life.

Look at life, listen to life, learn from life.

Well, no nudist beach for this ninny.

What rhymes with nudist?

Jewish?

NOPE. NOT THAT. OOPS.

No, stahp.

I said Jewish in a conversation once, yeah

a kid told me I was being racist and I was like, uh

no, pretty sure the word “Jewish” isn’t racist.

Context in which Jewish is used can equal racist

People make words racist, sexist, you name it

words can be it.

Don’t hate the words, hate the person who is dumb enough to make people hate the words

What’s a word anyways?

Let’s get thoughtful here: a word is simply an inkblot waiting to be read.

The ink is a butterfly to one and a zip tie to another; one floats away and one chokes.

One word floats, one word chokes.

Words are so ugh

Words make life basically

Words are on socks and underwear and tampon boxes and M&M’s

Gross, words are on tampons and my food?

Officially turned off of food, Thanks Obama.

If you take any notes on my words, read them like an inkblot

Look at the words, cross your eyes and read them so slow you grow algae.

Words are open to interpret

Interpret carefully.

If College Fails, I Have a Back-Up

30 Sep

I’m having too much of a writers block lately to write a lengthy post, so I organized my thoughts in a much more angsty form. Enjoy.

Why Prostitution is My Back-Up Plan

I’ve been working since I was 4.

Batting the eyelashes I don’t have and slidding down the pole

on the swingset.

I grew up and found babysitting jobs,

learning how to have sex

tuplets eat at the same time without choking.

Later, I went to school and learned how to use meth

ods of the scientific nature.

We never use it, fyi.

The teachers all say to plan for your future,

i’d rather go and eat dick

ies barbeque, man that stuff is good.

College is coming soon,

you know what that means?

Twenty-Four-Seven Nude

heels, for college speech.

If all of this doesn’t work,

I’ve found a back-up plan.

It already harnesses all the skills I’ve been learning in life,

flexible schedule, too.

Doesn’t require much college,

(I think).

I found my back-up plan.

“YOLO, as long as it’s treatable with antibiotics”

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