Tag Archives: death

Life is A Disease With a 100% Mortality Rate

17 Jun

To any who have noticed (That’s like seven people) I haven’t worked thee ol’ blog in awhile. I usually try to stray away from excuses but I think i’d have a pretty good excuse lately. Have you or a loved one ever been blessed with Mono? If you haven’t, don’t. I repeat, run for the damn hills. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars and sit in jail if that’s what it takes to avoid Mono at all costs. School got out on June 6th for me and I swear to all things holy that the whole last week of school was hell because I couldn’t function. So to say the least, i’ve been a little out of it after 3 trips to the hospital and too many bottles of Percocet later. I’m not much of the debby downer type usually, in all honesty. But lately life has really been hitting me lately. People always say When you’re going through hell, just keep on going! and sometimes I just have to put my foot down and say No, I’m actually gonna pop a squat here and enjoy the scenery of hell and wait for someone to come along who knows what they’re doing. Then there’s that “Never give up” cheerleader part that everyone has that screams Kum-Bye-Yah in your ear and says keep going. After a few events in my life have happened i’ve realized that is OK to just be OK. You can’t just be happy all of the time and sometimes life’s gonna give you troubles that you’re not going to be able to handle right away. While I was in the hospital for the first round my dad was trying to create light conversation and I have no clue how he got on the topic, but he pops off with the strangest thing i’d ever heard him say. I told him “Dad, I think i’m dying”. He chuckled a bit and said, “well, we’re all dying”. I had heard that too many times and I tried convincing him, “well then dad, i’m dying a little bit faster than the rest”. He than said the thing that inspired today’s blog post: “Well, I was told once by a doctor that life is just a disease with a 100% mortality rate”. In that instance my heart sank to my butt as I realized how painstakingly true that it. I actually laughed a lot after he said that, we both did our fair share of laughing together. I got to the hospital and the doctor came in and did the routine “What are you in for” and he honestly didn’t believe me when I tried to convince him that I was dying. So he responded with the same ol’ “we’re all dying every day” (except make his voice really dumb and full of nasal tones, because that’s what I heard it as) and proceeded on with his routine examination. Leaving the hospital that night, I thought a lot about death and life. For those of you who have made it this far reading, I really am proud of you because i’m sure you’re all thinking the same thing: This girl needs prozac. But I really did start thinking about life and death. I always feel some sort of sadness people who are so burried in someone other than their will-power and self-determination (I may or may not be referencing things such as religion in this chunk here for those of you who are in touch with your religious sides). I’m not saying that i feel bad because people are religious, but i’m saying that sometimes people forget to lean on themselves. Leaning on whatever Godly figure floats your boat is awesome because we all need something else to lean on. But I start to feel bad when people can’t look to themselves for guidance or strength, they let “let jesus take the wheel” and walk away from life as a whole. Like, no. Grab that wheel and drive your life. And referencing the earlier text, if your wheel is spinning out of control, then stop driving. Pull over. Sometimes when you’re going through a tough time, it’s OK to be OK. Don’t always hand the wheel over to someone else, look within yourself and go from there. (Okay, the safest thing to do in this situation is clearly to pull over and call for help or something because if you’re not mentally stable to be driving because you’re consider letting someone else take the steering wheel for you while you’re driving, then this situation is far too much for our friend Ms. Underwood to help you with. I didn’t want to include this is the actual message because it’s kind of counterproductive but seriously, if you’re not feeling right in the noggin, call someone) Now girls are wired a bit differenly than guys, so when we “look within” we find like seven different emotions and a bottle of midol, so our choices to solve the situation are a bit more complicated. I’m not really quite sure what happens when guys “look within” and to be quite honest, I’m not sure I ever want to find out.

So to recap today, let’s just end with the following reminders:

  • When you’re going through hell, it’s okay to sit down, enjoy the scenery and wait for someone who looks like they know what to do.
  • It’s OK to be OK.
  • Lean on yourself and don’t always give the wheel to someone else
  • Life is a disease with a 100% mortality rate

So if you’ve made it to the end of this, I applaud you. Thank as always!


What comes after death?

25 May

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking in the past few weeks about life and things of that nature. Within a very short span, my community has faced so many different tragedies and obstacles. We’ve had deaths, accidents and injuries. What really never ceases to amaze me is the strength our community has to blend as one family. I’ve grown up in this town for majority of my life and i’ve still never felt like one of “the towns own” because of my lack of a certain heritage. While I don’t feel part of this community, I do feel one thing; compassion. I’ve always been taught to Treat everyone with kindness, regardless of who they are and whether you like them or not and that has stuck with my entire life. In the face of hardships, that’s exactly what this town does, it smiles and waves and moves on. That makes me happy. Slightly emotional and sentimental, but happy. We stick together, love together and learn together. With that being said, I will brush over a “touchy” subject. When a life is lost and moves on to a greater place, what do we as the people “mourning” do? When I mourn, I cry and get angry. I don’t like death. Not even so much death, I don’t like letting go. One thing I’ve noticed in this town is that when people “mourn”, they roll em’ up, light em’ up and smoke em’ up. (Not everyone, but i’ve heard stories of people lighting it up right outside of the funeral home) I don’t know about you, but white-girl-wasted doesn’t exactly seem like much of a celebration about life. Celebrate life in a way that doesn’t harm your life. I’ve been the type of person to deal with death in different ways. Believe it or not, i’m not that much of an emotional person in public. I don’t like crying and all that jazz. Not my thing. I have cried at funerals, yes, but i’m the bottle-it-up type. In light of the recent deaths, one hopes that the family and friends find piece and DON’T bottle it up. It’s a sad time, but the community comes together. Unfortunately the ways of mourning aren’t all the same. Death. It’s a strange phenomena but it happens.

“That’s what comes after death, a memory treasure.”

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