I’ve Been Putting On My Own Underwear For 16 Years But Arthritis Still Makes Decisions For Me

Most days I wake up and look at my wall, read the quote that gets me out of bed almost single day and then make one of the hardest decisions of my life: should I put on underwear today? Actually, this is how I start my day (I actually do start my day like that though):

I wake up, look at my wall and remember I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness. From there, I lay in bed and once my mind is awake I have to wait until my body is awake. First, I try to move my knees and make sure none of them locked up in my sleep. Then I try to move my fingers and stretch them so they can actually start bending. After stretching my fingers I roll over on to my stomach because my low back is a mixture of numb/tight from staying in the same position all night. After about 15 minutes of letting my body stretch and wake up, I brace myself for the first steps of the morning, my feet ache even though I haven’t been standing on them for however long I was sleeping. Look at myself in the mirror and decide whether i’m feeling like Kate Upton today or if i’m feeling like Wocka Flocka. From there I start my day and let my body decide whether it’s going to have a good day or not.

That’s called waking up on arthritis’ terms. Not my terms, it’s terms. I could totally lie and say I wake up every morning and turn my swag on after brushing my teeth with a bottle of jack, but I don’t (obviously in my head I do, I just haven’t come to terms with reality yet). But in all reality, that’s my day. I usually am pretty okay with who I am physically (actually, bigger boobs would be nice) but some days are better than others. Today is a bad day on the account of making decisions. I’m generally good with making decisions for myself but today I had to start thinking of decisions that will affect me for the rest of my life. I’m 16 years old, my decisons should look something like this:

• Leopard or Cheetah?
• Are putting on pants really worth it?
• Am I going to put on makeup?
• Is this “push-up” bra actually pushing anything up?
• Should I start saving for a car or a boob job?
• Am I going to DVR Pretty Little Liars or The Bachelor?

But instead, my decisions went like this today:

• Would you rather have your arthritis be “managed” or would you rather having chronic migrains, a compromised immune system and bruises in your leg from getting your shots?
• If you continue on this treatment once you move out, are you going to give yourself your shots?
• If you don’t continue on this treatment, are you okay with the fact that your arthritis will not be managed?
• If you go off of your treatment, would you rather be retired by forty because you can’t work and stopped doing your treatment when you were 16 or would you rather keep going on your treatment and not be able to work because the side effects make your life hell?
• Would you rather strangle yourself with the underwear you didn’t put on today now or later?

Did you know google is a really scary place? I’ve always googled things when in doubt and I can honestly say i’ve become de-sensitized to most forms of graphic nudity i’m pretty sure (If you’re not sure what “syphillis” is when you’re like 12, don’t. Just don’t. Ever. Especially if there’s pictures included. Just stahp). But while having to make all of these “decisions” I have to do my research and honestly, research is scaring me so much my heart drops to my butt everytime I do. This article really put it in perspective for me though.

“Q: With taking injections of methotrexate and Humira, along with naproxen and folic acid, I have had very little joint pain, swelling or morning stiffness for at least three months. Does that mean my RA and psoriatic arthritis are in remission, and can I stop medication, or at least the injections temporarily? 

A: You may well be in remission, but you should not stop medication by injection. The combination of an immunosuppressant (methotrexate) and a biologic agent (Humira) can result in a near-complete cessation of symptoms in a high percentage of people. Your excellent response with very little pain in the joints and no morning stiffness or swelling for the past three months could be classified as a “clinical” remission.

But without the injections, the diseases most likely will come back within four to eight weeks as strongly as before you started taking those medications. Most important, if the disease becomes more active, you will have an increased risk of damage to the joints. I certainly understand your desire to stop medication or use less, but you must balance it with the need to keep the RA and psoriatic arthritis under control, in order to halt the progression of your diseases.

Once a clinical remission is achieved, we attempt to lower the amount of medications while maintaining the remission. I recommend you talk to your rheumatologist about first reducing your dose of naproxen, which is an NSAID. People in clinical remission usually can discontinue their NSAID; because it does not halt the progression of RA or psoriatic arthritis, stopping it does not increase the risk for disease-related damage. Once the NSAID is discontinued, sometimes the methotrexate dose can be lowered next, but this is an individual decision to be made with your rheumatologist. Rarely can a person stop a biologic agent and maintain a clinical remission.

Paul Howard, MD, Rheumatologist”

I’ve been on methotrexate and being that it is a chemotherapy drug, it sucked ass to be put into “angsty teen terms”. No kid wants to lose chunks of their hair and throw up everyday. But being that I can’t stop my biologic agent, what is there to do? When does Bella get to experience “remission” again? While switching between methotrexate and going into a two year “remission” and then going to an IV treatment, I was so happy that I didn’t have to be poked and pricked. Humira is cool, Phil Mickleson takes it, too, so that’s pretty neat. I’m on a “celebrity” drug that isn’t cocaine. COOL. But in all honesty, I should be having to make these decisions and I HATE making these decisions. It honestly scares me knowing that someday I might not be able to pursue any of my career goals because it’s not physically obtainable. Prostitution has popped in to my mind a few times as a back up plan but let’s be real, i’m pretty sure if I can’t make it out of my own bed, I wouldn’t be able to make it out of multiple beds. (This is a disclaimer. If you can’t handle dark humor and my constant prostitution jokes, then I don’t think we can be friends). But really, I want to pursue a career in music education. Have you ever heard of a conductor who can’t conduct because her arms hurt to bad? I want to be an ASL interpreter someday…Have you ever heard of an interpreter who can’t interpret shit because her hands don’t really work? I’m telling you, prostitution is sounding better and better by the minute.

Usually people would take this as a self pity party, but there’s nothing I pity about myself. I have an awesome life and there are people that have it a hell of a lot worse than I do, but sometimes I think I deserve to vent and hate my life for at least as long as it’s taken me to write this. Oh, and speaking of writing…do you know how hard it is to type some days? Never take simple things for granted because they might be hella hard for other people. My outlook on life is simple and i’ll say it again and put it in bold print; I have a really good life and there are people who have it so much worse than I do. It’s all about how you choose to live your life and what attitude you choose to have; are you gonna have a good day or a bad day? From that moment in third grade when they said

“You’re never going to run, jump, walk or run like a normal kid ever again”

I realized I can take two paths. I can take a really negative outlook on life, complain about how my cup is half empty and never be positive OR I can take a really postive outlook on life and laugh all of my awkward medical problems away. How else do you explain to your friends when they get in your van and ask “Oh sweet, whos handicap parking placker is this?” and you have to explain “oh, it’s mine. It works great for black friday”. You have to laugh it off.  That’s what i’ve done my entire life, laugh it off because i’m the Sped.

Today was a big day for me. I am now going off of all treatments and waiting for symptoms to come back. So here’s to waiting and potentially ruining my life. Sweet-o.

I leave you with another one of my life mantras and hope that you can find some sort of wisdom from it, which could be hard because it’s a home-made mantra.

“People are always so concerned about whether their cup is half full of half empty. I’d rather be more concerned about what’s inside of the cup. You could have a cup full of pee. Does it really then matter if it’s a half-full or half-empty cup of pee? No. It’s a cup of pee.”

Some People Drink, Some People Eat Meth Cookies, Some People Do Cats

If you’ve read the title, you’d think that I’m trying to encourage the act of zoophilia and i’m here to tell you that i’m not. What is Zoophilia do you ask? It’s closely related to Bestiality actually. Here’s what our good friends at Wikipedia define Zoophilia as:

“Zoophilia is a paraphilia involving sexual activity between human and non-human animals or a fixation on such practice. The term “zoophilia” derives from the combination of two nouns in Greek: ζῷον (zṓion, meaning “animal”) and φιλία (philia, meaning “friendship” or “love”).

Although sex with animals is not outlawed in some countries, it is not explicitly condoned anywhere. In most countries, bestiality is illegal under animal abuse laws or laws dealing with crimes against nature“

Now that you know information that you didn’t need to know, you’re welcome. If you did know what Zoophilia was, I’m going to question you. BUT let’s get back to the real topic of today’s post. Let’s talk about drugs and drinking (I feel like I’m just a bucket of good influence today, you’re welcome). I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately (Ha, that’s funny. Thinking.) and I’ve been thinking about choices and things of that nature. I met up with a very close friend of mine and we were doing the normal gossip session and they made an interesting comment that really made me think:

“You sure are hanging with a different crowd these days”

That actually really got me questioning who I am and what my morals are because believe it or not, I’m a regular (ha, that’s funny, too) human being who does care what other people think of me. I can’t tell what holds people back from making decisions; themselves or other people’s opinion? Personally, I ask myself what I think is right and go for it, but then the other half of me doesn’t want to disappoint anyone, especially the people who’s opinions I value. Being a teenager is really confusing stuff because you never know which crowd to fit in with. It’s not even the fact of which crowd to fit in, it’s which crowd you want to fit in with. I can proudly say, whether or not people choose to believe me or not, that I lead a life above the influence. It has it perks and it definitely is a personal choice that not everyone makes, but it is a choice that should be respected. You don’t have to agree with anything, but just respect it. Whether you drink/do drugs or don’t, it’s a personal choice. Yes, it can be quite an illegal choice depending on what you’re doing and what age you’re doing it at, but respect it. Here are my following thoughts that are plaguing my brain at the moment:

• The people you hang out with are not always a reflection of the person you are. I hang out with a lot of snooty bitches who reflect their love for Jesus every chance they get. Does that mean I’m a snooty bitch who includes Jesus in every one of her conversations? PLEASE SAY NO. In the same respect, if I choose to hang out and support people who dabble in drugs and drinking, does that mean I automatically drink and do drugs? I can tell you that, no. My philosophy is that I’m strong enough in my inner faith, my convictions and my morals. If I didn’t start doing drugs then, why would I do them now? Yes, you could counteract that with “well there’s a first time for everything” and I’d reply back with “Well I’m not choosing to have the first time be now”. I’m proud to say I’m above the influence and it’s nothing that I’m embarrassed about.
• People are so caught up in judgement that they never look past the choices to see the person, they see the choices and let that define the person. I can honestly say that for the longest time I treated kids at school who were labeled as “the druggies” like a whole different race of people. All you ever hear is “don’t go near those kids, they do drugs”. I’m sorry but if I was a parent, I probably wouldn’t let my child around me because I’m “that chick that talks about nudism way too much and posts at least 500 pictures with her cat on every social media website possible”. I’d put a restraining order on me and tell my children to run. That being said, after choosing to associate with people who make different choices than I do, I really learned to look past choices because their choices don’t define who I am. Now that I’ve finally started to come to the realization that people are going to judge me and I just need to stop caring, I don’t care if people judge who I hang around. I’m still the same person, it’s not like I’m walking around naked, intoxicated and wasted. Let’s be real. I’m the same person and I am going to stay the same person.
• Does anyone ever look at the people who do drugs and wonder why they started? Has anyone ever had the pleasure of sitting down with a drug addict and asked them why they started? Yeah, you think your life is bad? Ha, I think my life sucks when I have a hemorrhoid. Listen to the reasons why an addict started doing drugs, then you’ll think that hemorrhoid isn’t so bad after all. It is such a humbling experience to listen to the stories of other people. It’s really humbling to then think of what they’re going to suffer through the rest of their life and then be thankful that you didn’t make the choices they did. Be thankful that you lead a sober life (now if you are a drug addict or you do drugs and you read this, this is really awkward and I’m sorry that you don’t lead a sober life. I’m here if you need someone to vent to). Look past the choices, look past the judgement and get to know the person. Believe it or not, the person might not be as bad as you thought.
• If you are around someone who does have a drug or alcohol problem…did you ever think of getting them help if you are gonna be judgemental and concerned? If you honestly think they have a problem and you aren’t going to be their friend anyways, let a trusted adult or their parents know. You could totally be a jerk and be like “hey, jimmy totally eats meth cookies everyday and I’m pretty sure he wakes up and does lines on your kitchen table” and leave it at that. People are so caught up in judging “the druggies” that they don’t ever think hey, maybe Jimmy needs help. Yeah, did you ever think of that? Jimmy eats meth cookies. That’s not right. Meth cookies aren’t okay. METH COOKIES AREN’T OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So when I look back at everything and the choices that I make I just remind myself my new mantra:

“Some people drink, some people eat meth cookies, some people do cats”

Which I think to better suit my life I would change it to:

“Some people drink, some people eat meth cookies, you do cats”

Yeah that seems about right. So let’s just re-cap on the important things that you should walk away with today!

1. Zoophilia is not okay. So just stahp.
2. Keep your children away from me, it’s probably safer that way.
3. Be thankful you lead a sober life.
4. Look past the choices to see the person, don’t let the choices define the person.
5. Meth cookies aren’t okay. Meth cookies are never okay.

Sometimes Your Mind Makes Itself Have Closure

This blog isn’t a diary, so i’m not going to turn it into one. But I can beat around the bush and talk about what’s on my mind in a very non-chalant way. Today i’d like to actually talk about my mind (Yeah, get ready for some crazy things people). I talked about taking the wheel into your own hands and turning to yourself for issues on my last post and that’s really hitting home right now. I’d like to think that i’m a strong person with a really strong inner self (cause’ we sure as hell know my outer self isn’t tough as nails) and usually when I have problems, I look to myself to solve them. I’ve got any issue in my life right now that i’m really struggling with and i’m starting to question whether or not i’m gonna be able to find a solution myself. That’s kind of a big deal for me especially since I don’t open up to people very often. I’ve gotten a lot of people opinions on the situation and it’s all pretty much the same solution. But while struggling through all of this, I began thinking about how people work through problems and how the mind subconsciously gives itself closure. Now I’ve researched and googled through my problems (yes, when in doubt, google it out. I have no shame) and I pretty much gathered a few of the same basics thing. These are generally the steps I follow when trying to find self-closure:

1. Define what the problems is and find what is giving you a problem with finding closure. When I have a problem with a friendship, a relationship or even a dilema, I sit down and figure out what is giving me the angsty feelings and the feelings or loose ends. When you have an issue, you have to define the problem. You can’t find a solution until you find the problem! Whether you have to re-read conversations, talk to the person you have an issue with directly or simply pick your brain until you find the problem, do it.
2. Once you have defined the problem, think of ways you are going to fix it. If this is an issue with closure, ask yourself how you are going to approach the situation and face it head on. When you’re dealing with closure issues, there is something internally that stands between you and the other end of the bridge. Stand at the begining of the bridge and look at it; how are you going to cross to the other side and once you do, what are you going to do?
3. Find the courage to apologize. When I have an issue with a person, place or thing, the first thing I do is ask myself if If there’s anything I can apologize for. Sometimes it’s extremely hard to apologize but you can look at an apology in two ways. If you apologize (and do it first) you can feel like the bigger, more mature person…Who doesn’t like feeling like the big kid? Second, apologizing can clear your conscience and help you cleanse all of your ill feelings. Some people have stronger consciences than others, so it might not cleanse everyones soul.
4. Let go of the situation. Every person handles situations in different ways and some people get rid of their situations differently. If you’re the angry type of person, gather everything that has any ties to the person/situation that got you in this mess in the first place and burn it. If you don’t have a fire or anything to burn said possessions in, find a large garbage can and throw all of said possessions in the can passionately. I stress the passionately part because otherwise you’re just throwing shit in a garbage can. If you’re going to do this, try to do it the day that the garbage truck comes because then there’s no way to go back and get all the stuff. If you’re the sad emotional type, hold a theoretical funeral. Say a few words, prepare a eulogy if that’s what floats the boat and get rid of your stuff ceremoneously. If you honest give give two craps a bout how you get rid of said possessions, just throw it away. It’s no big deal, just get rid of it somehow.
5. Forgive and forget. Alright, so you’ve done your apologies and gotten rid of everything that reminds you of the situation, now it’s time to start forgiving all of the wrong-doings and forgeting about it. Now when I say forgetting, it doesn’t mean erase it out of your mind forever (unless you’re me and that’s just what helps you the most) because that doesn’t help you solve all of your problems. Remember the bad times and to never go back and remember the feeling you got after you said goodbye to the bad times. Forgive, forget and keep on keeping on.
6. Write it out and vent. Now by owning a blog, I have a canvas at my fingertips. What I find works the best in venting situations is places like facebook or twitter or even *gasp* a blog. Now I DO NOT mean to go on a rant about your problems and how you just moved mountains, but I do mean this; post something only you would understand for the world to see. The self gets closure in the most public of places. Post a song or a quote on your facebook, retweet something cheesy and sentimental on twitter and possibly write a post about conquering problems. No one likes a social therapy session, but it’s good to get things out for the world to see. If it’s close to you and other people see it, it get’s you closure in a really weird way that I honestly can’t explain.
7. Start a new chapter. You’ve stood at the beggining of the bridge, you walked over it and get to the other side. You didn’t go through all that trouble and passionately throw away garbage for nothing, you deserve a new chapter. The hardest part of getting through a situation is knowing what to do at the end. I often feel like a little kid learning how to ride a bike; I knocked off the training wheels, it’s just getting used to not having something I was used to for so long. This is your chance at a new begining, so go out and live! Take baby steps and learn to live with whatever or whoever you ceremoneously got rid of and learn to live for YOU!

I got a lot of advice from a lot of people the past few days and the best I got was from my childhood and still to this day, my best friend. She gave me incredible advice and i’d like to share it with you:

“Remember, the most important person in your life is you”

I didn’t realize how much I wasn’t putting myself first through this whole situation and once I started to try to put myself first and work through my steps of closure, I felt better. Of course writing your problems out always help, but always put yourself first, no matter how hard it is. When you’re in the situation where you aren’t getting closure or having a dilema, it’s hard to see that you aren’t putting yourself. Good thinking sessions and even better friends are what helps you see these things!  I’m going to leave you with a quote that is posted on a motivation board on my wall and I wake up to it every single morning:

“I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness”

Gossiping and Being Judgemental Are Just Like Being Naked

I had the pleasure of increasing my chances of cancer (I was tanning people, tanning..like outside) today with my best friend and I had a come to Jesus moment: everyone judges everyone and it’s perfectly normal. I love her to death and she’s just about the only person I can be brutally honest with and it’s wonderful (everyone should have someone like this in their life. If not, cats my friend). But down to the nitty grittys. As a normal angsty teen I was discussing the “problems of my life” and discussing the basics: How much I hate INSERT NAME HERE, how big INSERT NAME HERE’S thighs are, how much INSERT NAME HERE needs jesus. Now most of you are thinking what a terrible person, oh wait. That’s what 16 year old girls do. Yeah, but don’t we all? Of course she did her fair share of discussing said problems and did we feel better after it? Yes. Did we regret any of it? No. The one thing we both agreed on and I really took to heart was that a large majority of girls my age swear by “I never gossip about anyone or judge anyone, nothing behind anyones back”. Lolololololololololololololololololololol. If you know a girl who has said this, please pull her aside and slap that face while you can. EVERYONE PARTAKES IN JUDGEMENT AND GOSSIP. Let’s be real people,  IT FEELS GOOD! The things that people need to learn about judgement and gossip, is that they have they same rules asbeing naked in my eyes. So let’s compare being naked and judgement/gossip.

• Nudity should (I use should just as a precaution) be used only in private, within your four walls. If you’re one of those people who like the whole nudist lifestyle (I fully support you), then go for it but just know it could backlash. Use this same mentality with gossip and judgement. Gossip in private, within secure four walls. If you decide to go out into the world and pass judgement, prepare for the wrath of life.

• Sexting is illegal, right? Nudity should take have no place on your cell phone. Why? Because if you wouldn’t want the whole world seeing you naked at the mercy of social networking, don’t be naked on your cellie. TALKING about being naked on your phone, that’s okay. Being naked on your phone is not. In the same respect, don’t gossip or say something that you wouldn’t want to end up in a mass text or on the twitter. That actually could end up illegal; Cyber-bulllying, yo.

• Now without trying to get too explicit here, watch who you get naked with. There are some people who are extrememly comfortable walking around the house naked with guests (so i’ve heard) and that can be bad. Not everyone wants to see you naked. It doesn’t matter if Kate Upton (okay, yes it does. that matters), not everyone wants to see you naked. In the same respect, not everyone wants to hear you gossip. Quite frankly, it can get super annoying. As well, no one likes to be around judgemental people all of the time. People don’t wanna see you naked all the time, people don’t wanna hear you gossip.

• On the flip side, there can never be too much nakedness if used right. It’s healthy and freeing. Everyone knows or should know that feeling of just chillin after a long day on your couch naked. Chilling on the front porch naked is just too much, couch? Not so much. You can chill on your couch as much as you want, too. So, gossip and judgement is healthy and it let’s you blow off steam and anger. If it’s used right it can be extrememly helpful. Being naked can help you in plenty of ways. Use both in moderation, but don’t be afraid to indulge.

So, if you know someone who keeps swearing by the fact that they don’t judge or gossip, look them straight in the eyes and ask them…Are you ever naked? Were you born clothed? Do you shower fully clothed? No. We were born to be naked and we need to be naked at some point in our daily life. We were born to gossip and judge and we do so each and every day.

So get out there and get naked!

Life is A Disease With a 100% Mortality Rate

To any who have noticed (That’s like seven people) I haven’t worked thee ol’ blog in awhile. I usually try to stray away from excuses but I think i’d have a pretty good excuse lately. Have you or a loved one ever been blessed with Mono? If you haven’t, don’t. I repeat, run for the damn hills. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars and sit in jail if that’s what it takes to avoid Mono at all costs. School got out on June 6th for me and I swear to all things holy that the whole last week of school was hell because I couldn’t function. So to say the least, i’ve been a little out of it after 3 trips to the hospital and too many bottles of Percocet later. I’m not much of the debby downer type usually, in all honesty. But lately life has really been hitting me lately. People always say When you’re going through hell, just keep on going! and sometimes I just have to put my foot down and say No, I’m actually gonna pop a squat here and enjoy the scenery of hell and wait for someone to come along who knows what they’re doing. Then there’s that “Never give up” cheerleader part that everyone has that screams Kum-Bye-Yah in your ear and says keep going. After a few events in my life have happened i’ve realized that is OK to just be OK. You can’t just be happy all of the time and sometimes life’s gonna give you troubles that you’re not going to be able to handle right away. While I was in the hospital for the first round my dad was trying to create light conversation and I have no clue how he got on the topic, but he pops off with the strangest thing i’d ever heard him say. I told him “Dad, I think i’m dying”. He chuckled a bit and said, “well, we’re all dying”. I had heard that too many times and I tried convincing him, “well then dad, i’m dying a little bit faster than the rest”. He than said the thing that inspired today’s blog post: “Well, I was told once by a doctor that life is just a disease with a 100% mortality rate”. In that instance my heart sank to my butt as I realized how painstakingly true that it. I actually laughed a lot after he said that, we both did our fair share of laughing together. I got to the hospital and the doctor came in and did the routine “What are you in for” and he honestly didn’t believe me when I tried to convince him that I was dying. So he responded with the same ol’ “we’re all dying every day” (except make his voice really dumb and full of nasal tones, because that’s what I heard it as) and proceeded on with his routine examination. Leaving the hospital that night, I thought a lot about death and life. For those of you who have made it this far reading, I really am proud of you because i’m sure you’re all thinking the same thing: This girl needs prozac. But I really did start thinking about life and death. I always feel some sort of sadness people who are so burried in someone other than their will-power and self-determination (I may or may not be referencing things such as religion in this chunk here for those of you who are in touch with your religious sides). I’m not saying that i feel bad because people are religious, but i’m saying that sometimes people forget to lean on themselves. Leaning on whatever Godly figure floats your boat is awesome because we all need something else to lean on. But I start to feel bad when people can’t look to themselves for guidance or strength, they let “let jesus take the wheel” and walk away from life as a whole. Like, no. Grab that wheel and drive your life. And referencing the earlier text, if your wheel is spinning out of control, then stop driving. Pull over. Sometimes when you’re going through a tough time, it’s OK to be OK. Don’t always hand the wheel over to someone else, look within yourself and go from there. (Okay, the safest thing to do in this situation is clearly to pull over and call for help or something because if you’re not mentally stable to be driving because you’re consider letting someone else take the steering wheel for you while you’re driving, then this situation is far too much for our friend Ms. Underwood to help you with. I didn’t want to include this is the actual message because it’s kind of counterproductive but seriously, if you’re not feeling right in the noggin, call someone) Now girls are wired a bit differenly than guys, so when we “look within” we find like seven different emotions and a bottle of midol, so our choices to solve the situation are a bit more complicated. I’m not really quite sure what happens when guys “look within” and to be quite honest, I’m not sure I ever want to find out.

So to recap today, let’s just end with the following reminders:

• When you’re going through hell, it’s okay to sit down, enjoy the scenery and wait for someone who looks like they know what to do.
• It’s OK to be OK.
• Lean on yourself and don’t always give the wheel to someone else
• Life is a disease with a 100% mortality rate

So if you’ve made it to the end of this, I applaud you. Thank as always!